Watch Your Voice!
by Nancy Simonds

Tweets and IM notwithstanding, sometimes you have to communicate in complete sentences, especially in your marketing materials.

People often fall into the bad habit of using passive voice rather than active voice in their writing. Active voice simply means that the subject of the sentence acts rather than is acted upon.

(Remember those awful grammar lessons back in seventh grade? This is when they have a real-life application.)

In marketing materials, I prefer active voice because it’s more direct and has more authority. Passive voice is often clunky and wordy.

For example~

PASSIVE VOICE:
Your lawn will be affected by the quality of the grass seed you plant.

ACTIVE VOICE:
A beautiful lawn depends on quality grass seed.

See? Active voice is simpler and more to the point, and creates a stronger image. Use active voice in your newsletters, postcards, brochures, and Web content to add spark and interest.

Sometimes when I read promotional copy in a brochure on or a Web site, I say to myself, “What the heck is this business all about, anyway?” If you’re trying to educate a potential customer about your product or service, it’s a good idea to avoid big words, industry jargon, or market-y language that doesn’t really make clear sense. Just be yourself and use a friendly, conversational tone.

For example~

Instead of saying this:

“Our innovative approach combined with operational flexibility has fostered customer-oriented service and state-of-the-art product offerings unmatched in the home construction industry.”

Say this:

“We build customized kitchens for homeowners based on their particular needs, and we can do the same for you.”

Honest, simple, and to the point.

So, leave out the gobbledygook, okay?

Nancy Simonds, copy writer

www.simonds.com

I’ve been working with a client who needs a promotional brochure, and when I asked the question, “What’s your core message?” she really drew a blank. It’s hard to drill down to what your company is all about at the core, but one way to think of it is to ask yourself: What do I want people to remember about my company after they’ve read my brochure?

Here are a few examples of core messages:

An attorney: “My law practice focuses on small businesses. I help entrepreneurs get started the right way, answering important questions about legal and business entity issues.”

A sub-contractor in the aircraft industry: “Our company manufactures specialty micro tools for the aircraft industry. We don’t mind short lead times; in fact, that’s our specialty.”

A non-profit agency: “Our agency provides case management services to veterans with drug dependency. We’re the only agency in the state that helps men and women make a successful transition from hospitalization to the community.”

See how easy it can be? Just a sentence or two that sums up who you are, what you do, what you provide.

You may never actually use your core message verbatim in your brochure or other marketing materials, but it sure helps when it’s time to develop copy–especially when you create your list of features and benefits.

If you have trouble figuring out the underlying message you want to leave in your customer’s mind, ask your business partners, employees, or even your favorite clients to help you define it.

Submitted on 2-27-09 by Nancy Simonds, copywriter

This week I finished up writing the content for a simple Web site for a massage therapist. She wasn’t convinced at the outset that she needed help from a copywriter, and wasn’t prepared to pay for much more than “tidying up the home page.”

As the project moved forward, she began to see the value of a copywriter’s contribution: clearly stating her core message; developing a powerful call to action for each page; keeping copy concise and easy to scan; and introducing important key words and phrases that potential clients might use to find her in a Google search.

She turned out to be a terrific client. She gave me good raw data to work with, got back to me right away with her feedback, and really understood and appreciated what I was trying to accomplish on her behalf. The cherry on top? She paid her bill within two weeks!

I called her right away and said, “I wasn’t sure how things were going to work out for us, but now I wish all my clients were like you!” Know what she said? “I’d be happy to write a testimonial you can use on your own Web site!”

So, again, what makes a perfect client? Someone who:
*Values the contributions to the project
*Provides what is needed to get the job done
*Responds right away with feedback (So the project stays on track!)
*Works in a collaborative fashion
*Pays the invoice in a timely fashion
*Speaks highly of the work to others and makes referrals

Nancy Simonds, promotional copywriter