motivational

How To Persuade People With the Ugly Green Drink

March 22, 2016 Beth Devine

Persuading people to agree with you and do what you’re asking them to do is difficult. Whether you want them to buy your product or service, vote in a particular way, or make different lifestyle choices, it involves understanding the Ugly Green Drink.

For my son, drinking smoothies is all about flavor. Imitating Starbuck’s new smoothie glamour or pushing veggie health won’t convince him to drink the Ugly Green Drink. I tried that.

It has to taste good, and if it’s green, then that’s just not possible according to the Book of Hungry Teen Boys. Despite being ugly and green, it’s just as good as purple or red smoothies, but try telling that to a green-phobic youth.

He helped me earn my badge in the art of persuasion. Now it’s your turn to learn the Ugly Green Drink technique and get the help you need to persuade people.

Say What You Have To Say

How you say something is as important as what you say. If you say something with anger or resentment, your listener will put up automatic defenses. If you say something with drama and self-judgment, it will be received as dramatic and worthy of judgment.

When I said the Ugly Green Drink was better for him than fruit-only smoothies, and if he couldn’t see past the green then he wasn’t trying to be an adult, I was the know-it-all mother. And he held fast to his question-mom-in-everything thinking.

Like the story in Seth Godin’s Poke the Box when the 1860s Hungarian doctor realized washing hands would save lives. No one listened to him. Can you guess why? Because he knew it all and didn’t bother to pretend otherwise. He was a pompous jerk.

Say what you have to say by taking into account how you say it so your audience will think you have something worth listening to.

Frame Your Story So It Fits Their World View

People suffer from what can be called a “moral empathy gap.” This inability to comprehend moral world views that are different from our own renders us incapable of persuading others to adopt our position.

In other words, you can’t persuade someone to take a different course of action or buy a product you want them to buy when you use your own system of belief. Without empathy, your attempts at persuasion will fall flat.

The Ugly Green Drink didn’t need to be healthy or a status symbol. Unlike Mikey of the Life cereal ad, persuading my son to like it was not as simple as shoving a bowl in front of him. I needed to use empathy and step inside his shoes.

“This is the ugliest drink you’re ever going to try; it’s as disgusting looking as the bottom of your backpack.” However, if I can persuade him that green doesn’t mean it tastes like cooked spinach, I’ve won. But first I have to get on his plane of thinking.

They’re Not Wrong

It’s close to impossible to persuade people that they are wrong and then have them do something differently. You can convince them with facts and figures by appealing to their intellect, but you can persuade them by “appeals made to the will, moral sense, or emotions.”

Godin reminds us that marketers don’t convince, they persuade. Moms serving Ugly Green Drinks must also learn the fine art of appealing to the passions, fears, and fancies of their target teens. Forget the brain and go for the heart.

Unless it’s brains you’re eating. “It’s so gross! If you drink it, you’ll be drinking monkey brains!” That was enough of a challenge for Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes to eat his smelly dinner. It warrants a try.

Help persuade your audience to make a change or a new decision instead of admit they’re wrong. Arnold Schwarzenegger shows us how with his bold, four-asterisk word in an appeal to our future.

Use Placebos To Surround What You’ve Built

Godin’s Placebos begins with a story illustrating how placebos work. A guy walks into a health food store with a nasty cold and asks for the strongest placebo they’ve got. Unfortunately, that particular store didn’t carry any.

“A placebo is a story we tell ourselves that changes the way our brain and body work,” Godin says. You have to first make something terrific that works, and then you have to build a story around it to break through all the noise and competition.

This is emotion again, the appeal to the heart and soul of your audience by going beyond the obvious features and benefits. “With the Ugly Green Drink you can forget about having to fork up boring vegetables. And you’ll be chugging down added protein you want for sports. All in mere seconds!”

I’m thinking Popeye the Sailor Man. He’s probably thinking The Expendables. Whatever works. Build a story around your great idea, product, or service, and let the placebo effect kick in.

Make Metaphors Happen

The Ugly Green Drink is my metaphor. It gives you imagery, helps you to understand the idea, and makes it easier to communicate it with others.

Put your metaphors at the beginning of your story. This way your audience doesn’t have to work so hard to understand your argument. The metaphor is the lens that focuses them in on your idea and helps to persuade them to think and act differently.

When you get others to drink the Ugly Green Drink, you’re persuading them to do something they might not want to do otherwise.

Pay It Forward

Simple reciprocity is a great persuasive device. Give someone an unexpected gift and you will create a need to reciprocate. Like the notion of pay it forward, people like to return favors as a way of showing their gratefulness. Think of how in your personal life you’re more inclined to ask someone for a favor if you’ve done a favor for them.

Businesses are applying this principle every day by offering free ebooks, free trial memberships, free samples, etc. The feeling of gratefulness for the free information creates a tendency to feel obligated to return the favor and make a purchase or a recommend to a friend.

Make sure you understand your audience and what they want before using reciprocity to influence their choices. Persuasion is most effective when the right favor is granted.

Offering my son a bowl of tortilla chips to go with the Ugly Green Drink will be far more persuasive than a dish of crunchy kale. Maybe I’ll work on kale chips next since I’m on a green roll.

A Curious Collection of Motivational Quotes for Your New Year

January 6, 2016 Beth Devine

If you’re looking for run-of-the-mill motivational quotes, you’ve come to the wrong place. Handpicked to help you begin your new year right, this is a curious collection that I hope will spur you into action. And unless you’re my clone, or you write for a living, I doubt you’re familiar with every last one of these words of wisdom.

Don’t let 2016 be a hamster wheel of sameness or inaction. Help stop your unproductive days from spiraling into endless lethargy. Instead, focus on creating a steadfast and resolute mindset despite being surrounded by a never-ending to-do list, energy-sucking news, and mindless chatter.

Ring in the new year with some solid motivational and edifying quotes on work and life. Bookmark them, pin them, post them, share them, or just read them out loud. Give yourself the chance to kvell over how well you’ll do in 2016 with a fresh start and a new perspective.

“When you think you can’t go anymore, when your brain says you’re done, you’re only 40% done. You can push yourself much farther.”

~US Navy SEAL David Goggins

What a concept! Build your confidence with this mantra, and give yourself a dose of what you need to tackle whatever else comes your way. Goggins idea is to pursue excellence by challenging yourself to go to the next level, to get uncomfortable and face whatever it is that’s stopping you.

Why use the 40% rule? Because “No one ever drowned in sweat.” ~USMC Officer.

“We got to stop thinking we have a secret sauce when in reality, it’s nothing but thousand island dressing.”

~Marcus Sheridan of the Sales Lion

Sheridan is talking about his secret to success. It’s what he calls the golden rule of content marketing, and it’s simple. “They Ask, You Answer” is also the title of his book.

He took the leap and began answering his customer’s questions, even the ones that competitors were unwilling to, because transparency is the key to earning trust.

When I first read about this amazing businessman, I was encouraged to learn that you can be yourself, you can begin at something and be really bad at it, and it’s okay. Because making honest progress is the only thing that matters.

“Our story is never written in isolation. We do not act in a one-man play. We can do nothing that does not affect other people, no matter how loudly we say, ‘It’s my own business.’”

~Madeleine L’Engle, Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art

Think of it this way. Nothing you do will be insignificant. Your every decision, every move, and every word has potential to make an impact.

L’Engle wrote many books, but she waited ten years before her first book was published. You might have heard of it. If you haven’t read A Wrinkle In Time, read it. Better yet, make an impact and read it to a young person.

“Your life is your story. Write well. Edit often.”

~Susan Statham

Another day is another opportunity to live the way you know you must. You can edit your life. You can scratch out the parts and characters you don’t want in it. What are you waiting for?

“I missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times. I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

~Michael Jordan

If you haven’t heard it by now, you haven’t been reading much motivational writing. Failure only happens to those who don’t try. I found this quote on social media, and I like the visual of shooting for the basket as a metaphor for shooting for success.

It doesn’t matter how many times you miss. What matters is that you keep trying, if that’s what really matters to you. Do you love what you’re doing? Do you want to improve your game? Then keep on giving it your best shot.

“You have to take care of yourself in order to have the alignment and the power in order to take care of others at the capacity that we do.”

~Jada Pinkett Smith

She was talking about finding a balance in life for mothers – but it applies to everyone. Neglecting to take care of yourself leads to looking to others for your happiness instead of taking responsibility for it yourself.

Find the balance between personal, family, and work. It’s a three-legged stool and without a solid seating using all three legs, you’re going to struggle to stay upright.

“Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.”

~Charles Swindoll

There’s so much more to this than meets the eye. Everyone is tempted to play the blame game, but it’s when you own your life and work to make it what you want, using your unique gifts, that you’ll rise above all the bad stuff that is bound to happen.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

~Viktor Frankl

Frankl has inspired many in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, where he begins with an account of his experiences in Auschwitz and other concentration camps, and then turns these realities into remarkable insights. This book might alter your outlook on every manner of thing you’ve held dear.

In the end, it’s your choices that matter. Ask yourself daily, “Who is in control of my life?” Don’t ever forget who’s in the driver’s seat of your life.

“It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.”

~William Ernest Henley

“Invictus” is a short Victorian poem written in 1875, one you might recall from the film of the same name with Morgan Freeman playing Nelson Mandela. Invictus means “undefeated” or “unconquered” in Latin.

Will your 2016 be a year of undefeated conviction in working toward your success?

“The way we see things is the source of the way we think and the way we act.”

~Stephen Covey

In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Covey demonstrates how your perceptions, or your paradigms of thinking, determine the way you behave. He uses the analogy of maps to convey how people view the world. Each person has their own map or paradigm.

How are you going to view your year? Will you assume that your map is the only way to see things? Will your attitudes and behaviors be based solely on your built-in map, or will you consider how other people see things differently?

“Sometimes, through our own doing, we make little problems big by taking them way too seriously.”

~Nick Vujicic

In Life Without Limits, Vujicic takes us through the challenges of growing up without arms or legs. His perception of what constitutes limitations will make anyone rethink their paradigm of what defines wholeness in a human being.

Several years ago I met this amazing man. Already overwhelmed by tears as I approached him, his hug — he’s known as the hugging machine — spoke volumes to me about true inner strength and courage.

“.. Fear is often described as False Evidence Appearing Real,” he writes. Let go of your aggravations and annoyances. Change your paradigm and change your life!

“No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good.”

~C.S. Lewis

But don’t let that discourage you from trying. You’ve probably figured out by now that without a healthy dose of reality and sincere effort, you won’t get too far or stay there too long. Besides, being genuinely good will return rewards tenfold — when you do it for no reason but to be good.

As Lewis also wrote, “Do not waste time bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him.”

Your new year is waiting. Go out there and live it well, be good, and don’t worry when you mess up. That’s called making progress.

3 Secrets To Getting Your Customers To Trust You

October 20, 2015 Beth Devine

Trust is a hard-won commodity. Gaining your customer’s trust is a process that takes a business at least two years, according to a global study by SDL. Strengthening your relationships with your customers is an investment that requires good communication, but just how else do you build trust over time?

With these three secrets, help your business grow as you practice building trust.

Be Imperfect

Today’s social media makes your business far more visual and public. Your business communications on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and other social media platforms reflect your ability to be accessible and transparent.

The key to conveying accessibility and authenticity to your audience is by sharing content that reveals you’re imperfect. Authentic storytelling involves a willingness to admit your faults and mistakes, as well as your accomplishments and successes. The more you engage with your followers in a familiar and realistic manner, the more effective you’ll be in persuading them to accept and trust you.

Gone is the perfect brand image with impeccable stock photos to tell your brand’s story. The trend in images on social media echoes the user-generated content taken by the smartphone in your back pocket. The natural technical errors and the added filters help create imagery that’s familiar and relatable.

There’s a right balance between professional, polished content and authentic storytelling that depends on your audience and business. Just remember, the more transparent and realistic you are, the more your audience will gravitate to you.

The Law of Diminishing Returns

The law of diminishing returns is the theory that the more you do something, the less value and effect it has. It applies to things you enjoy doing, like eating your favorite food or riding your favorite amusement park ride, and to performance-based efforts, like studying for an exam or practicing for a competition. The more you experience it or work at it, the more you grow tired of it or feel burned out from it.

This theory is similar to a diminishing law of credibility. The bigger your claims are, the less likely anyone will believe you. The rule here is to “never tell them more than you think they’ll believe.”

You might have the most powerful vacuum cleaner ever made, thanks to its high-tech filter. So how do you get your audience to believe you? Instead of rattling on about how and why it’s the best, start by telling the disadvantages first. Tell them the filter is the most expensive on the market. Then eventually get to that’s why it’s also the most effective.

This doesn’t mean you don’t get to sound excited about your product or service. It means you aren’t afraid to be upfront about some of the limitations in order to establish credibility and trust. This is a tool you probably use in your everyday life without realizing it.

For example, when talking to a friend about your exercise regime, you are more likely to tell another avid runner all about your struggle with 12-mile daily runs than you would discuss it with someone who never runs. You would be more effective in encouraging this friend by talking about the hard-won benefits of walking.

Telling people the truth, but only as much as they can accept and want to believe, will not only resonate with your audience, it will make you easier to trust.

Start With the Why of the Golden Circle

Why should people choose your product or service over your competitor’s? Is it better quality? Less expensive? Will it last longer? Most businesses sell themselves with similar claims, offering no unique point of reference.

According to Simon Sinek, the way to stand out from the competition is to use what he calls “The Golden Circle.” The circle consists of a bull’s-eye in the center of the circle and two concentric layers. In the center is the why, in the middle is the how, and in the outermost circle is the what.

To communicate with your customers, Sinek says to begin in the center with the why. He says that few organizations can explain the why to their existence, so to be unique and meaningful, you must start from the inside of the circle and work outwards. The why of your business is how you will build trust and loyalty, Sinek says.

Don’t let these three secrets stay a secret. Share this post with your colleagues and help to spread valuable trust in your corner of the world.

How To Be More Likable

January 14, 2015 Beth Devine

liked at work — Flickr photo “Pals” by jeffreyw, modified from the original under CC BY.

“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion.” — Dale Carnegie

We all want to be liked. Google how to be more likable, and the evidence is there—you’ll come up with plenty of self-help advice to answer your need.

Because the majority of people spend most of their time at work, how to be more likable at work is a popular focus for improvement. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ latest American Time Use survey, employed adults spend nearly twice as much time working as they do at a leisure activity.

Start by being more likable at work with these 5 areas of self-improvement. Based on the vast amount of internet advice, I’ve distilled it into 5 categories centered on personal characteristics.

1. Be a Better Listener: Be Deferential

Listen without interrupting. It’s annoying when someone butts in or rushes you, or attempt to compete with you in conversations as if they have to top your story or one-up you in some way.

Deferential listening involves more than just being quiet while others speak. It requires conversation reinforcements, questions, and most of all, being present. Make a point of not looking at your phone or letting your mind wander, and place your full focus on the person talking.

By being deferential and listening attentively, you’re creating an authentic bridge that will allow you to connect with others. And eventually they will like you for it.

2. Be Willing to Get Personal: Be Vulnerable

Know when to take things to a personal level and share what’s really happening in your life. Without being overdone, sharing is a way to communicate trust and break down walls, making emotional connection a possibility.

By being honest about yourself, you’re showing a vulnerability that makes liking you easier than if you always attempt to show how impressive you are.

Admit to mistakes and failings, show the real you. People will gravitate to your honesty.

3. Be a Positive Force: Be Complimentary

One way to practice being more positive is to find something to compliment people on. It’s hard to appear negative when you’re focused on making compliments to people.

Instead of finding what’s wrong with a situation, use the same positive energy to figure out what can be done to make it better. Tell someone every day how fabulous they are and why. Most of us are so fixated inwards that it requires simply being aware of your surroundings to find something to remark positively on. They’ll not only appreciate you for it, they will be more likely to listen to you when you do bring up a negative point.

4. Be Concerned About Others: Be Genuine

Ask questions about others and give them a chance to talk about themselves. By prompting people with honest questions about their lives to further your understanding, you show you’re genuinely interested in them and making a deeper connection.

The other side to revealing your vulnerability is displaying a unique concern for others. By not always settling for small talk and superficial exchange, you’re opening the door to a stronger relationship, one where you’re far more likable.

5. Be Warm and Fuzzy: Be Sincere

Don’t underestimate the power of touch. Social touching on the upper arm, shoulder, or hand can influence how others behave as well as make you appear friendlier and more attractive when done right.

This means it is done casually and sincerely. Touch can break down the perceived barrier of distance and and decrease the natural barrier of emotional resistance.

Out of these 5 personal characteristics, sincerity is the most difficult to adopt with artifice, so don’t bother doing this if you can’t muster up real solicitude. If people can smell a rat, they can sense it even better with a false touch.

Of course there are many ways to show sincerity. All of them will help you be more likable. There is one single thing you can do to influence the practice of all five characteristics listed here and be more likable. It’s very simple.

Smile more.

People will lower their guards when you smile as you greet them with a “good morning,” leave them with a “have a great day!” and take the initiative to acknowledge them.

How to Create a Presentation That Counts

January 10, 2015 Beth Devine

Photo modified from "be bold" by Julie Jordan Scott on Flickr. — Photo modified from “be bold” by Julie Jordan Scott on Flickr under CC BY.

According to Seth Godin, there are, as far as I can tell, three types of presenters. Good Entertainers, Bad Entertainers, and Change-makers.

The Good Entertainers know how to work the crowd. They know how to make them laugh, keep them on the edge of their seats, and maybe even shake their heads with wonder as they leave, thinking how great a show it was.

Bad Entertainers fail to do any of these things. They bore their audience, waste their time, and generally are unremarkable. The attendees are thinking about what they will do after they leave long before they exit the building.

The point to creating a presentation isn’t mere entertainment, although it’s a good idea to keep your audience riveted. Making them laugh on occasion is also a good strategy.

But to make a presentation worth doing, one that doesn’t waste your audience’s time, you need to have just one purpose. Godin is crystal clear on this. You need to make a change happen.

“No change, no point,” Godin says.

In other words, if we take what Godin tells us to heart, we know that the point of making a presentation is no different that the point of getting out of bed every day.

When you get up and face the day, you can choose to live it so you’re just getting by and surviving the ordeal. Or you can seek to do small things that make a difference and have the potential to turn into something better.

Change-makers create presentations that do more than just get by. They make presentations that take risks. The risk is always the same. You might fail. But if you don’t try, if you don’t do more than just get out of bed and ignore the possibilities, you’ll never know if you could succeed.

Pack Your Presentation With Emotion

When you make a presentation, you’re communicating your point of view and trying to get others to agree with you. Just like when you navigate through the day, it’s your emotional appeal that will help you achieve what you’re trying to accomplish.

You won’t get far trying to get others to follow your advice when you behave like an automaton. People want to engage with you. So whether they determine you’re a has-been or a rock star, you need to use emotion to connect with them.

Are You Selling Something?

If you’re an academic discussing an issue related to your work, are you selling something? The question Godin has us ask ourselves before creating a presentation applies to anyone who is presenting an idea. “Who will be changed by this work, and what is the change I seek?”

If you’re not selling something, then you don’t need to make a presentation. If everyone already agrees with what you have to say, then you don’t need to try to convince them. Go home and think up something else to do.

Godin gives us four rules for presentations:

1. Cue cards – Even if you don’t need to use them, making cue cards to remind you of what to say will help you outline your presentation and trigger talking points. Keep them simple and legible, so if you do need them, you aren’t squinting and stumbling as you try to read them.

2. Illustrate with images – God has a lot to say about Powerpoint, and most of it’s negative. Rather than use this software as a powerful tool to relate ideas, it’s become a crutch.

Don’t rewrite what you’re saying onto the Powerpoint slides. Don’t use images that aren’t professional or that don’t evoke an emotional reaction. Don’t use the music that comes with the system. Instead, find sounds and music that will get a visceral response from your audience. Don’t use more than six words per slide.

3. Hand out proof – The written document that supports what you’re selling should be handed out only after your presentation. Otherwise your audience will be reading instead of listening. Plus, if you tell them they’ll get it all in writing afterwards, they won’t have to distract themselves with note taking.

4. Get an answer – Don’t let them leave without getting a commitment or a signature or some sort of agreement. The whole point to your presentation is to persuade others to adopt your idea, to get them to do something different.

Make It Count

We want to live our lives in a way that makes them count. We don’t do this by never trying to persuade another person. Every day we try to persuade someone to do what we think is best.

We’ve got to give presentations the same way. Make it count for something. Make it worth doing and do it differently than everyone else.

How Writing Makes You Happy

June 13, 2014 Beth Devine

“Morning Serenity” by 2010 Army Digital Photography Contest used under CC BY /Modified from original

Writing makes you happy – thinking things through, talking about your dilemmas, or trying to repress your unhappy thoughts won’t work.

It’s scientifically proven that you must write, and varied experts weigh in on achieving happiness through writing.

Read on to see what you’ve been missing out on, if you’re not writing. If you are writing, then see why you must continue. Your happy life depends upon it.

Take time to reflect

When you think through the things that occur and “write out of that experience,” you will realize greater clarity and fulfillment.

Not only that, but you will also slay the deadly writer’s block. Russell Moore explains that by giving ourselves time to reflect we will fill the void within.

This tidy little bit of advice includes what is called savoring the moment. By stopping, savoring, and then writing these tidbits of reflections, your happiness increases.

So carry a small notebook with you. Jot down those thoughts; capture those moments in words. You’ll feel better.

Learn something you like

Allow writing to be an opportunity to discover something you enjoy rather than a mere exercise. While this should seem obvious, too many people miss this straightforward notion and instead approach writing like it’s the march to the guillotine.

As Albert Einstein said in a letter to his son, “That is the way to learn the most, that when you are doing something with such enjoyment that you don’t notice that the time passes.”

Learn about yourself

“To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom,” wrote Socrates. When you write to increase your understanding of who you are, you release your inner story.

It also can be a form of self-medication.

As Maya Angelou demonstrated with I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, revealing personal experiences can be immensely liberating, offering relief to others in the process.

Help others

Writing can be a way to help others. “The idea is to write it so that people hear it and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart,” Maya Angelou is quoted as saying.

When you create an emotional connection between your writing and your readers, you make a lasting impression. Maybe you can affect people, influence and reshape their thinking, and make a difference.

This makes for a very happy you.

Apply some therapy

Studies show that sharing our thoughts and concerns by writing them down versus discussing them with another person or merely thinking them over is more effective in easing pain.

In 59 Seconds, Richard Wiseman explains three ways to do this. One method is to journal a diary where you describe future events you wish to see occur. This is called expressive writing.

A gratitude diary is another happiness-inducing activity, boosting your positive outlook through documenting the things that you’re grateful for.

You can also use affectionate writing, or writing about how much someone means to you. All three of these writing methods will make you happy.

Neurobiologists suspect that therapeutic writing such as blogging “triggers dopamine release, similar to stimulants like music, running and looking at art.”

What are you waiting for? Join the WordPress blogging stratosphere and get happy.

Getting happy is the whole reason for writing

Some people get desperate. Their need to write is so great that certain apps are made to ~~encourage~~ scare the dickens out of them, like Write or Die 2. I don’t see how this type of writing makes you happy.

Writing won’t have any effect on your dopamine levels if it scares you. Perhaps Stephen King said it best in On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft.

“Writing isn’t about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid, or making friends. In the end, it’s about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well. It’s about getting up, getting well, and getting over. Getting happy, okay?”

How to Be Green, Safe, and Healthy: Making Little Changes

March 26, 2014 Beth Devine

Making Fun Out of the Ugly

When you hear how unhealthy, unsafe, and ungreen you are, it scares the crap right out of you. Which makes you shut down, hear nothing, and do nothing about it. We are terribly good at avoiding the ugly.

Playing games helps. It paves the way for less tension. Which is why every table at the Glastonbury Chamber of Commerce Women’s Leadership Conference got a chance to play at something silly before hearing about our cancer-causing choices.

Ugh. Here comes the ugly part.

Somehow, it wasn’t hard at all. After listening to Kristi Marsh, author of Little Changes, tell us her story, she had us all stand. We got to play another game. Our only rule: be honest.

We’d just learned that at the age of thirty-six, with three young children, she fought aggressive breast cancer. She wanted to protect her littles ones from ever having to experience this horror.

We all want the same thing for our own bodies and loved ones. So we stood and played.

How Green Are You?

With every question she asked, we would either remain standing if our answer was yes, or sit down if we answered no. The first question was “Do you have a fire extinguisher in your home?”

Talk about easy, right? On question number three – three! – I had to sit down, because I don’t have a carbon monoxide detector installed in my house. A woman at our table sat down because she didn’t have three or more houseplants.

The final women who remained standing purchase only bleach-free, recycled toilet paper. Wow. Some of us have leagues to go before we are at that point.

But it didn’t matter. Kristi didn’t push our buttons to make us feel guilty, helpless, or scared. Smiling, she told us, “You have the right to know what’s happening to your food and what’s in your personal care products.”

With full-on optimism, she encouraged us to become advocates for our own beautiful bodies. No change is too small.

Hell-Bent on Making Little Changes

I went home and told my husband we need a carbon monoxide detector. Now. Recognizing a reasonable request when he hears one, not to mention a woman hell-bent on change, he went right out and got one. While he was at it, he discovered all our fire alarms are outdated. We are now fully armed with fire safety.

Taking one small step toward being green, safe, and healthy led to another. This is how you begin.

After the game, Kristi focused on two topics of concern, toxins in our personal care products and GMOs. Time for the ugly. But we were ready. We knew we could hear anything and it wasn’t going to kill us.

Creepy Toxic Cosmetics

There’s a lot to learn about the cosmetic industry and its regulations. Turns out, they are operating under laws that date back to 1938. The result is products filled with endocrine disruptors, pesticides, neurotoxins, and carcinogens.

It gives me the heebie-jeebies to write that.

For information on safe personal care products, check out the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics and the Environmental Working Group’s Skin Deep Cosmetics Database. Kristi recommends both on her website Choosing Wiser.

What Is a GMO? And Will It Bite?

Next up, the mysterious GMOs. No one knows how this experimentation on our food source will affect our health. GMOs are the result of laboratory processes that insert genes from one species into another to obtain a desired trait, such as pesticide resistance or faster growth. Just Label It reports that 90% of Americans support mandatory labeling of genetically engineered food.

The top five GMO food culprits are corn, soy, sugar derived from beets, canola oil (also called rapeseed oil), and cottonseed oil. Yes, that means high fructose corn syrup. As for sugar, look for “cane sugar,” which comes from sugar cane and is not GMO-modified.

Kristi said that anything marked “USDA organic” or with the non-GMO verified seal is cleared to be safe from GMOs. You can download the Non-GMO Shopping Guide to carry in your purse for easy reference.

Anybody else thinking what I’m thinking? Time for some little changes in the grocery cart?

Because many of us are uninformed about just what GMOs are, she gives us Eight Ways to Jumpstart Your GMO Learning Curve, exactly the kick in the pants we need to start learning.

Hey, no one said this was going to be a barrel of laughs. You don’t, however, have to be a frightened out of your skinny jeans. It’s simply your right to know as a caring, concerned human being how to be green, safe, and healthy.

Share this with others and let them know that they have the right too.

Learning Authority from Seth Godin, a Mom, and a Robbery

January 29, 2014 Beth Devine

Seth Godin recently wrote a guest post on Copyblogger about striving for authority. The comments were nearly as entertaining and informative as the post.

You would think no one would dare to question Godin, whose authority and credibility have been time-tested and proven. But since it’s the nature of humans to squabble and whine, even Godin, whose high moral ground is the beacon of light for marketers worldwide, will suffer from censure.

As one commenter complained, isn’t it obvious by now that in order to gain authority you must work for it? Why must we be reminded of this again and again?

Because we need it. Duh.

My mom used to tell me, “Don’t do as I do, do as I say.” Coming from a parent who has earned her authority, she wasn’t so worried about her credibility. Of course, that changed as I grew older and began to question that authority.

To be an authority online, what you do and what you say need to match up. Delivering your promises is more important now than ever with all the social media platforms that allow for public venting and finger-pointing.

When our house was broken into, the policeman who handled the case was unquestionably an authority. Like Godin pointed out, licensed authorities are obvious. What’s not so obvious is the potential to earn authority through acts of credibility.

This policeman earned his credibility when he showed that he was doing the hard work of searching for the perpetrator and supporting us. He also earned our trust. He might have been a figure of authority when he walked in, but he was a true model of law enforcement’s compassion and integrity when he left.

It didn’t matter that he never caught the burglar. What mattered is that we knew he cared due to his investment of time and effort with us as a family.

In describing his contes moreaux, or “moral tales” film series, director Eric Rohmer said, “What matters most is what they think about their behavior, rather than their behavior itself.”

What matters most is not what you do, but what you think, because that’s what’s going to become clear over time. Your behavior will come back to bite you if it’s not authentic. As Sonia Simone, Copyblogger co-founder, wrote in the comments, “Authority without credibility is called fraud.”

Derek Halpern makes a case for gaining instant credibility on his website, Social Triggers. Sounds gimmicky, I know. However, he gives three valid points that expand on what are well-known tactics: “Be honest” – by arguing against your own self-interests, “know your ish” – give accurate and precise information, and “don’t scam” – back your claims with evidence.

Halpern’s blunt personality and no-holds-barred approach make for an authentic online presence. If anything he does comes back to bite him, it’s surely not due to a lack of truth telling. (His How to Deal With Haters is my favorite. I know you’ll love it too.)

To be an authority, emulate the prototype. As Godin tells us, “Authority comes from consistent generosity, from truth telling, and from empathy. It comes from showing up. It comes from telling your truth and consistently sharing your point of view.”

Copyblogger’s founder Brian Clark summed up our inherent need for a beacon of light in Godin in a reply to a commenter, “It’s good to air these things out like the big dysfunctional family we are.”

Well said.

The Customer Experience Story is Remembered Long After the Logo

January 21, 2014 Beth Devine

We are all customers who’ve felt the sting of mistreatment at one time or another — the unfriendly or incompetent company representative who forced us into a stalemate of dislike because they didn’t follow the simple rules of engagement.

A customer’s experience will be remembered much longer than a company logo or product packaging. A customer’s experience becomes the brand’s story, and how it is told will determine a brand’s value.

Seth Godin’s definition of brand spells out the fundamentals: A brand is the set of expectations, memories, stories and relationships that, taken together, account for a consumer’s decision to choose one product or service over another. If the consumer (whether it’s a business, a buyer, a voter or a donor) doesn’t pay a premium, make a selection or spread the word, then no brand value exists for that consumer.

Learn from the stories. These five customer experience stories include the rules of engagement needed to create a positive value exchange.

1. Be clear on the policy.

Every time you check out at Forever 21, you are reminded of their store policy with a simple question: “Do you know what our return policy is?”

It’s a simple formality, and it shows that Forever 21 wants customers to be aware before they walk out of the store. When you have only twenty-one days to return an item for store credit, it’s critical to make it clear.

A customer who knows the limitations and rules up front are less likely to complain. Sharing information as part of the transaction helps to cement the agreement.

2. Bend the rules.

The return policy isn’t so clear with Game Gear, but when you’re ordering online it’s up to the customer to read the fine print. Depending on the situation, sometimes the rules are meant to be broken.

If a customer believes they’re being listened to, they will remain satisfied. Allowing for a dialogue gives consumers the opportunity to share their experience, and it gives the brand the option to make exceptions to store policy.

In this case, a thirty-day return policy was difficult to comply with when holiday gift-giving requires additional waiting time. Game Gear’s quick response was to allow for the return, and included a happy ending with: “We are sorry for the inconvenience and hope we get the chance to make it right.”

There’s no better experience than a company who shows they are listening with a little rule bending.

3. Own up to your mistake.

A local Domino’s takes your daughter’s custom order, the same order they’ve filled for months, and tells you no, that’s not something we do.

Wait a minute. There’s no room for an unequivocal no when a customer requests something. There’s room for let me check on that for you, or can you give me more information, or I’m sorry, but that product is no longer offered.

The pizza in question – a gluten-free artisan style – was eventually made after further inquiry, but the mistake was never acknowledged. There wasn’t an apology of any kind.

There’s always room to “make it right” when a customer feels wronged, even if it means being in the wrong and saying so.

4. Sometimes you gotta take a loss.

When Shutterfly didn’t cancel a duplicate order, they charged me for both identical pillows. Despite speaking with three customer service representatives, the issue remained unresolved.

The employees that are hired to work with customers should be trained to fix the problem, and when they can’t, to follow a procedure that does get it fixed. Three failed attempts could mean strike, you’re out.

In this case, I had to ask to speak with a manager. Fortunately, this individual had the training to effectively manage an order gone terribly wrong. The end result was a free pillow for me, and a home run for the brand.

5. A company’s face should be a smiling one.

For years we were greeted at our dentist’s office with a grim-faced receptionist. As if going to the dentist isn’t bad enough, we had to deal with a cross between The Grinch and an evil minion from Despicable Me before getting past the front desk.

Hiring the right person to represent you at the front lines is a critical decision. Your goal is obvious: to welcome your visitors and make them feel wanted. You only choose someone with the stature of a squadron leader if you’re trying to prevent customers from entering.

No matter which side of the desk you’re on, life is much more pleasant when the rules of engagement are handled with a smile.

Your One Word for 2014

January 2, 2014 Beth Devine

Choose one word. Head into the new year with a focus on this One Word as your personal rallying cry.

One Word. 365 days. A vision.

Words hold power. Words can create movement, inspire beauty, change perspectives, liberate nations, and convey ideas.

Your One Word is a compass pointing you towards a life-changing journey. Will you take the first step and choose One Word?

3 Steps to One Word

In an NBC interview, Jon Gordon, author of One Word books, , described three steps to finding your One Word.

1. Look inward and discern your needs and desires.

2. Look upward and be open to the right word.

3. Look out and practice making it a part of your life.

One Word to Rule Them All

Forget new year’s resolutions, lists of goals, and good intentions that so often are abandoned. Choose one word and let it shape your year. Let it shape you.

Because the One Word challenge can be intimidating, look at it as a “walking marathon.” You have the whole year to walk it and work it.

As OneWord365 explains, breaking the process down into segments will help make it less overwhelming. Think of at least three categories where you can apply your One Word and how you will attempt to make an impact. Consider specific areas that you wish to work on.

My One Word is renegade: In daring to do what I fear, speaking what I believe, and keeping my thoughts positive despite the bashing that goes on around me.

Change takes commitment. It’s uncomfortable. It’s risky. But it’s how we grow.

Rewrite Your Story

The One Word process is an opportunity to rewrite your story. Seeing the vision in your One Word is like flipping through the pages of a book. Every day, for 365 days, you have the ability to write a new chapter.

I asked several people to think of their One Word for 2014. This survey included people who are writers, nurses, website designers, teachers, management, professors, and retirees, and it gives us a bigger picture of where we want to go as a group.

Their One Word often complemented their life situations and professions. Some of Your One Word choices suggest that as we grow older, we are more conscientious of choosing and not postponing joy, as well as maintaining thankfulness. When life hits us hard, we hold fast and grow rooted in our beliefs.

As a writer, it’s critical to be watchful of our surroundings. Hard pressed to meet the demands of a job, we are determined, and we work to do it again, only better.

There are needs to communicate better, plans to read more, resolves for a hopeful attitude, and desires for growth. For some, it is an impulsive and deliberate will to move forward with purpose. For others, it’s the strength gained in how we choose to remember.

Keep the Word Close

To remind you of what your word for 2014 expresses, write your word down and place it somewhere you’ll frequently see it.

Try over the kitchen sink, on the bathroom mirror, above your desk, on your car dashboard, or next to the television. Make it your screensaver, write it with a sharpie on a coffee mug, or create a Tagxedo image.

I know someone who wrote it in the sand and took a picture of it. Jumpstart your year by writing it on your hand, like this high school did. Create a poster at getoneword.com

Focus your attention while you expand your horizons. A single word with infinite possibilities of encouragement. With One Word before you, the story you write has the potential to change your life.

What One Word will you choose?